Denver News Team Shows A Dick On Live Television + 4 Other NSFW News Fails [VIDEOS]

I’m not sure what I’m more impressed by, the stupidity that allowed a dick to get on live TV or the poise they showed in continuing the show.

Check out their faces right after it happened:

fox news denver shows penis live tv - fox news denver shows penis live tv

The look on all their faces is worth repetitively watching a video full of dick.

But who on earth that’s ever been on the internet thinks to randomly click through pictures on a twitter feed? According to (wholly unsubstantiated) internet math there’s a dick per every five pics. That’s a roulette wheel everyone is bound to lose at.

But news programs always have problems. Why? Because they’re local. And local talents will almost always be less talented and focused than their national talent cousins. That’s why they’re local.

Remember that Los Angeles news team that damn near pooped themselves during a modest earthquake?

 Two days before that they got pranks by a fella named Hugh…

Local talents at work, yo. However, this next crew is actually pretty damn good at what they do. Global Saskatoon host Lisa Dutton managed to pantomime performing a blowjob live on television while explaining how her son used an electric toothbrush to massage his gums.

 Not sure what this news host could have done besides pay closer attention to Mr. Potty-Mouth-Grabby-Hands, but…um…

Was that guy Australian or something?

This last one though is the funniest and most fucked up of the bunch. It’s supposed to be a prank with fake video lined up with genuine newscast footage, but I want to believe!

*NSFW UPDATES* Strangers Kiss Each Other Upon First Meeting Each Other [VIDEO]

Tatia Pilieva has created something unique that caught on like wild fire. She made a video of strangers kissing each other on first meet. So a dude meets a chick or a dude meets a dude or a chick meets a chick, they shake hands, and start sucking face like the antidote’s buried at the back of each others’ throats.

strangers kiss meeting first time first handjob parody - strangers kiss meeting first time first handjob parody

You know what annoys me? It’s not the easy-grab black-and-white filming technique. It’s not the cheesy music. It’s not even the kissing. In fact, the kissing really kinda turns me the fuck on. Cuz it’s awesome.

What annoys me is that after kissing, these people seemed to be genuinely, if not remotely in some cases, super attracted to each other. It’s like something in the kiss cracked the cryptex of human wariness, opened the vault door to people’s hearts and made them, if only for a minute, regard the other person as a human being worth considering.

Imagine if we were to consider each other by kissing first before we had a conversation, or got to boning or set up a dinner and drinks date? How about we just do this little step without kissing, but make this sort of openness and honesty in regard a part of our everyday interactions? A lot of us, I think, might be less shitty to each other. HAHA! No we wouldn’t. We’re way too fucking stupid for that.

As such, let’s enjoy a parody of the kissing video where guys get their first handjobs from strangers.

**TWIST BONUS!!!!**

Awwww HELL naw! It turns out that the ‘First Kiss’ video is actually a sham! It’s actually a commercial for a Los Angeles based clothing company.

Ugh.

Once this came out, a television show in Belgium decided to take the concept and actually do it properly. The result is just as, if not a little more so, as magical as the original.

**NEKKID BONUS!!! (NSFW)**

Whatever you can do, the French can do better with nudity.

**VICE.COM BONUS!!**

Vice’s fersion featuring of the same video concept, but with people who aren’t models (this shit is gettin’ old).

Captain America: The Winter Soldier, ‘America, Fuck Yeah’ Edition

‘Captain America: The Winter Soldier’ comes out in less than a month on 4/4. Even though Captain America is kind of a boring character, there seems to be a lot of excitement surrounding the movie. Shux, my nerdy ass wants to see it as I anticipate that it will be awesome.

Marvel’s done right by my inner geek with their network of Avenger-focused movies. But if I go see this movie and it’s crappy, woe unto those I encounter on my way from the theatre to the parking lot. There will be some feelings hurt and some over-sized $9 chocolate chip cookies smashed in the aftermath. Fuck a slushie machine, bitches! Y’all charged me for an afternoon of BULLLLLLLLshit!

At the very least, we get this awesome remake of the trailer featuring the song ‘America, Fuck Yeah’ from ‘Team America: World Police.’

Oh yeah, supposedly this will be Marvel’s second longest movie (‘Avengers’ was seven minutes longer) at two hours and sixteen minutes. So if you’re gonna go see it like me, don’t make plans for the rest of your day. Dayum.

captain america winter soldier trailer team america fuck yeah edition - captain america winter soldier trailer team america fuck yeah edition

Dempster’s Bagels Sells Bagels With Sex

I’d never heard of Dempsters bagels before I saw this video. Now, I expect I’ll be paying them a lot of attention from now on. Well, if they keep up making these commercials.

What a savvy idea. You sell your food product by introducing a simple, quick, easy recipe for its use and you dress up the explanation in tawdry double entendre. A couple of ‘turgids’ and a ‘love tunnel’ and this commercial could double for the intro to a romantic novel.

dempster's morning quickie bagel commercial double entendre - dempster's morning quickie bagel commercial double entendre

What It’s Like Bullying And Being Bullied

Most of us know what it’s like to be bullied. But not all of us tell the whole story of what it can be like. There’s more to it than just being ostracized by one person and many of us experience multiple levels of bullying that stays with us forever.

YouTube user ‘Being Ginger’ gives a very thoughtful, insightful and painful appeal in the story of bullying in his life.

ginger bullying being bullied - ginger bullying being bullied